Call me, anytime.

Crazier than the proverbial loon, that one is and she wonders why I dumped her.  I'm not talking about just crazy, I'm talking about a grade A, nuttier than a fruitcake, paranoid, delusional, batshit crazy, padded cell lunatic.  She was jealous, controlling and despite being well educated had never found a conspiracy theory that didn't make absolute perfect sense.  To top it all off, I've now found out through the grapevine that she is a Drumpf  Trumpeter.  What in the hell was I thinking?

It wasn't just this one.  I seem to have a stellar record in this department.  Fear of commitment have let the good ones slip away and attracted the crazies, the ones that should be committed; religious fanatics who would like nothing more than to save my soul, those with addiction issues, those with really jealous significant others, the needy, high maintenance types.  Yada, yada, yada.  You know the types, the ones that show up on COPS, Locked Up or on Post Office walls.

To be totally fair and brutally honest I'll accept at least half of the blame, I'm not easy to live with.  Even I have problems being around me at times.  I'm opinionated, loud, obnoxious, brash, rash, rude, crude, lewd and socially unacceptable.  On the plus side though, I've had all of my shots and I'm housebroken... mostly.

At this point in the continuum of the time stream that is my life, I'm probably better off single.  I'm not saying someone couldn't walk into my life tomorrow and turn me into a blathering idiot, it has happened before, just that it probably won't and neither she nor I need the hassle.

I do my own laundry, (sexist much Chip?), The microwave does the cooking and an extra blankie on the bed keeps me warm at night.  Failing that, I still have a big white dog, (yep, it's still Elvis).  Yes ladies, I'm single...Call me.

Thanks for giving me a bit of time.

See you tomorrow.