Not always sunshine...

I'm really burning through that 50 post head start I started this reboot with.  With this one there are a couple of drafts, 10-15 digital sticky note random thought ideas and about 30 completed posts in the queue.  To be fair though, in addition to a lack of get up and get-with-it motivation, my full size keyboard headed south, leaving me only with the cramped laptop keyboard that my fat fingers and limited typing skills are having a bit of difficulty re-adjusting to after the ergonomic, curved MS keyboard.   I'll be taking the old one apart for cleaning and service.  With a little luck, touch wood (not that I'm superstitious or anything), that'll do the trick.

How's this for an atrocious change of blog direction? 

I've suspected it for a few years, denied it for a few more but I've finally admitted to my doctor and not lied on the depression screening.  "I can get myself out of the funk. it'll pass, I'll be fine once the sun shines and the weather improves again."  I thought.  I couldn't, it didn't and I wasn't, what used to be just seasonal blues started to manifest earlier and stick around longer.  I admitted to myself, sucked it up and asked for help.  I was a bit surprised to find it was not only depression, but there are some anxiety issues as well.

The first words out of my dad's mouth were; "What are you depressed and anxious about?"

"Pop, it doesn't work like that, but thanks for asking." 

I'm now a month into an anti-depressant and a sleep aid.  Things have gotten smoother, not really great yet,  but we're working on it.   There is less desire to hurl things through the TV or smash things with a hammer.  Much less "HULK SMASH!"  and a little more harmony.  The big white dog, (yep, it's still Elvis), has mellowed on his Oh-dark thirty requests to go out, being somewhat satisfied to sleep in and let me sleep as well.   I still migrate to the couch as pain and discomfort set in, not as much though.  Either as a side effect of the new meds, or as a result of treating depression and anxiety, I find myself NOT wanting to eat everything in sight.  Which in itself is a good thing.

It's springtime on your end of the calendar, mine is still a ways out.  We've still got snow on the ground here in the wastelands,  sub-freezing and flurries today, more (expletives deleted) snow over the weekend, and mid-teens (Celsius) / mid-sixties (Fahrenheit) by Wednesday.  Stupid (expletives deleted) weather.  


As always, thanks for giving me a little time.  Oh, and if you think you might be suffering from depression, or anxiety or any other issues talk with your doctor.  Guys, I'm talking to you.

See you tomorrow.  Peace.