I put the 1/2" guard on the clippers and removed a significant amount of hair, including the 9" pony tail. It is rather odd looking if you take all of the hair except for the pony tail. A shaved head is even better when your mother suggests you wear a hat because you have an ugly head. Trust me on this one.
Next, I removed the 1/2" guard and attacked most of the beard as well. I did leave the Van Dyke beard and mustache, and it's still just barely long enough to braid if I so choose though. So, about 28 pounds of hair and beard hit the floor the other night. I have been told hiding my incredibly sexy Kirk Douglas cleft chin behind a brindled, and scraggly beard is a travesty akin to hiding a gorgeous fireplace behind a tatty, ratty garage sale frat house couch. Maybe, but I HATE to shave. I've hated it since I first started shaving, at age 9. No, not really nine. I was probably 15 or so. Aside from abhorring the act of slathering one's face with lubricant and attacking it with sharp steel, I am also blessed/cursed with a heavy beard.
The perpetual five o'clock shadow was a source of great consternation as an 18 year old recruit in navy boot camp.
"Recruit!!! Did you shave this morning?"
"Yes Senior Chief. This recruit shaved shortly after reveille."
"From now on recruit, you will return to the barracks after noon chow and stand closer to the razor."
"Aye, aye senior Chief."
At least twice a day for two months. Are we having fun yet?
It didn't get much better after I got to the real Navy and "The Fleet".
"Sailor, did you shave this morning?"
"Yes sir. I shaved shortly before flight quarters was called."
"Stand closer to the razor."
"Aye, aye X.O."
Yeah, I still hate shaving. These days I only shave a couple of times a year, or as required by protocol. I might consider remaining shorn if I could have a close, tight, barber delivered, straight razor shave all the time. Maybe, probably not though...
Thanks for coming.
See you tomorrow.
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